ext_77467 ([identity profile] minni.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] demeter918 2008-12-17 03:54 pm (UTC)

Have you seen I Twilight was ten times shorter and 100 times more honest?

    PETER FACINELLI

    Kristen's been bitten! She'll be turned into a vampire within minutes unless you suck the venom out! I can't do it for some reason or another.

    ROBERT PATTINSON

    Since the whole novel this is based on is just Mormon propaganda for abstinence and bloodsucking is a metaphor for sex, what exactly is this advocating?

    PETER FACINELLI

    Look, all I know is that even though it's going to be REALLY HARD, you're just going to have to PULL OUT of her before CLIMAX. The climax of the movie, I mean.

    He DOES. It's very DISSATISFYING.



Also, I must confess that I will be writing some Twilight fanfiction. Well, don't look at me like that! All I wanted was some Fleur/Rosalie bikini mud-wrestling in a decent HP crossover! And so far, Charley Weasley has misplaced a dragon that Carlisle decides to adopt because it's bound to survive Emmett's playfulness, Edward resents being reminded of his failed exchange student experience, and Esme has named the dragon Marmaduke. :)

For my next project, I want to do a Twilight/Harry Dresden crossover BECAUSE I CAN. And, admittedly, I want Thomas/Emmett speedo mud wrestling.

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