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demeter918I'd like to preface this with the fact that I absolutely hate bullies, bullying, or anything of the sort. If there's anything that will grant my rage, it's me seeing someone bullying someone else. Normally, I'm pretty laidback. I rarely get angry and even when I do, I usually forget about it after a few hours, sometimes a few minutes (happened once!). But bullying? Oh, I'll remember your face for the rest of my blissfully long life. I'll remember your face and I'll gleefully do everything I can to screw you over. Let me see you picking on that kid who looks at the table all the time? Don't blame me if my finger reaches for your ear. Don't blame me if you're completely humiliated among all your macho friends. And certainly don't blame me when I make a ruckus to the other teachers and they're forced to have a nice, long talk with the parental units.
Really. Blame yourself.
What brought this on?
On Wednesday, after a particularly fun advanced English third-year class, I was walking past one of the classrooms during a break. As I walked past a particular classroom, I saw these three boys huddled in a corner. Well, the old adage is boys will be boys but fuck that bullshit. It didn't feel right to me, something in there made my stomach turn, so I stopped, walked backwards and stared at them. Two of the boys (tall, sports-oriented, one is in my advanced class, the other in the basic, they're both raucous and sometimes easily distracted, niether have really given me trouble) are pushing around this other boy.
Now, this other boy was interesting. He saw me looking at them, and for a moment, I thought I saw a look of relief, but that was quickly swallowed up by one of this agreeable smiles, you know, the ones that will maybe make the one hitting you stop? But what bothered me the bost was the fact that I couldn't place his face. I've been here long enough that even if I don't know their name, I'll recognize their face or glasses or hairpiece or something. This boy? This boy doesn't even ring a bell in my head. And that already raises the hairs on my neck. For one thing, that indicates that he's the sort who doesn't ever talk in English class because, believe me, if you talk even once in my class, I will remember you. If only because you prevented me from speaking to empty air. Let me call him Face.
To get back, they're pushing him. And I mean pushing. They're shoving and talking quietly to him and what gets me is the looks on their faces. These are not two boys having fun with their friend. These are two boys who are fairly high up on the social heirarchy totem pole and they're reveling in it.
The other two boys noticed me and very slowly, I asked, "what are you doing?" in my best I-am-a-sucky-Japanese-speaker nihongo. They pause, and I notice for the first time that one of the boys (whom I'll call Baldy from now) was holding a long, cardboard tube-like staff. It bothers me, but he's not doing anything with it. (yet)
The taller boy (whom I'll call Yankee) smiles and pushes Face backwards into the cubbies. Okay. So far, the bells are going any wilder, but they aren't quieting either. I frown and step forward and look at Face and ask, "is everything okay?" He nods and smiles and looks to Baldy and Yankee and I suddenly feel pissed. Maybe because Baldy starts whapping Face in the fucking face with the cardboard thingy right in front of me and he's still smiling.
Sure, you want to tell me maybe it was innocent? FUCK NO. I have four brothers. I know rough housing from bullying and that was two pricks standing around and bullying this boy who'd probably done nothing but be quiet and sullen.
Well, what do I do?
I glare at them. My students often note that I seem to be always cheerful and I'm always smiling, so I think this shakes them because they lose their smiles and they back away, mumbling. Face makes his getaway, Baldy and Yankee separate into two different directions, and I'm left staring after all three of them and contemplating the fact that I finally got my first taste of Japanese school bullying. I looked around and noticed that there were ten other kids there. Yeah, thanks for stepping in kids.
Bullying is almost an ingrained phenomenon. I've always known about it; it's widely studied and every year the Japanese government comes out with one campaign or another to try to stop it from happening. And you know what? It often doesn't work. Kids are bullied and kids still write anonymous letters to those in power because they don't know how to get out of it any other way. Kids will take any reason these days to bully another, often as an entire class or in small groups. That's one of the things that gets me. These bullies don't work by themselves; they have to travel in vicious little packs because you know what? They wouldn't dare do it on their own. They have to be sure that there will be those who will back them up in case things go sour. Other kids are often afraid to stop the bullies because they don't want their attentions to be turned on them.
So... afterwards, I go to the other English teachers and I tell them what happend and what I saw. Portentiously, and rather ironically, a couple days prior, the Japanese government had received a packet of letters that were written by an anonymous student. The letters claimed that the student was sick of being bullied relentlessly and threatened suicide by a certain date if the bullies didn't stop. The government took it seriously and published it in the newspapers. They issued alerts for school boards and the teachers were all paying attention to it. Read it here.
I hadn't known about it, but with me informing them and this coming, they took it pretty seriously. They asked me to reenact the scene (I was like WTF?) and then they took out an album full of student pictures and asked me to identify the parties involved. I told them I could identifie the bullies but not the student and they seemed worried.
And I found out why. Apparently, a second packed of letters were sent where a female high school student threatened to kill the bullies and then themselves if it didn't stop. Read it here.
I wanted to laugh. Mostly because HOLY FUCKING HELL IT TAKES A SUICIDE NOTE TO MAKE PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO BULLYING THAT IS PRACTICALLY ENDEMIC???? For fucks sakes! The stats may say that no students have killed themselves over bullying since 1999 but the stats are FUCKING WRONG. Kids don't always leave suicide notes and kids don't always kill themselves over bullying. They'll just feel miserable and alone and maybe they'll join in on the bullying once targets change.
My teachers told me that it was good I told them, but now I wonder just how they're going to get around this. Call the parents in for a conference? Have them deny it because their kids are darling little angels? Will Face be bullied in a more secretive manner so that Yankee and Baldy don't get in trouble? Will their classmates continue to do nothing?
I don't have a clue. But one thing I know is that I'm going to remember Baldy and Yankee for the rest of my life. And I'm not going to let this go. Oh, so you protest, they're just kids, they don't know how serious it is. Frankly? I don't give a damn. They're obnoxious little pricks that need to have the shit kicked out of them. I sure hope having the shit kicked out of them will be what changes them but I'm not about to hold my breath.
... so anyways. That's my rant of the day.
Really. Blame yourself.
What brought this on?
On Wednesday, after a particularly fun advanced English third-year class, I was walking past one of the classrooms during a break. As I walked past a particular classroom, I saw these three boys huddled in a corner. Well, the old adage is boys will be boys but fuck that bullshit. It didn't feel right to me, something in there made my stomach turn, so I stopped, walked backwards and stared at them. Two of the boys (tall, sports-oriented, one is in my advanced class, the other in the basic, they're both raucous and sometimes easily distracted, niether have really given me trouble) are pushing around this other boy.
Now, this other boy was interesting. He saw me looking at them, and for a moment, I thought I saw a look of relief, but that was quickly swallowed up by one of this agreeable smiles, you know, the ones that will maybe make the one hitting you stop? But what bothered me the bost was the fact that I couldn't place his face. I've been here long enough that even if I don't know their name, I'll recognize their face or glasses or hairpiece or something. This boy? This boy doesn't even ring a bell in my head. And that already raises the hairs on my neck. For one thing, that indicates that he's the sort who doesn't ever talk in English class because, believe me, if you talk even once in my class, I will remember you. If only because you prevented me from speaking to empty air. Let me call him Face.
To get back, they're pushing him. And I mean pushing. They're shoving and talking quietly to him and what gets me is the looks on their faces. These are not two boys having fun with their friend. These are two boys who are fairly high up on the social heirarchy totem pole and they're reveling in it.
The other two boys noticed me and very slowly, I asked, "what are you doing?" in my best I-am-a-sucky-Japanese-speaker nihongo. They pause, and I notice for the first time that one of the boys (whom I'll call Baldy from now) was holding a long, cardboard tube-like staff. It bothers me, but he's not doing anything with it. (yet)
The taller boy (whom I'll call Yankee) smiles and pushes Face backwards into the cubbies. Okay. So far, the bells are going any wilder, but they aren't quieting either. I frown and step forward and look at Face and ask, "is everything okay?" He nods and smiles and looks to Baldy and Yankee and I suddenly feel pissed. Maybe because Baldy starts whapping Face in the fucking face with the cardboard thingy right in front of me and he's still smiling.
Sure, you want to tell me maybe it was innocent? FUCK NO. I have four brothers. I know rough housing from bullying and that was two pricks standing around and bullying this boy who'd probably done nothing but be quiet and sullen.
Well, what do I do?
I glare at them. My students often note that I seem to be always cheerful and I'm always smiling, so I think this shakes them because they lose their smiles and they back away, mumbling. Face makes his getaway, Baldy and Yankee separate into two different directions, and I'm left staring after all three of them and contemplating the fact that I finally got my first taste of Japanese school bullying. I looked around and noticed that there were ten other kids there. Yeah, thanks for stepping in kids.
Bullying is almost an ingrained phenomenon. I've always known about it; it's widely studied and every year the Japanese government comes out with one campaign or another to try to stop it from happening. And you know what? It often doesn't work. Kids are bullied and kids still write anonymous letters to those in power because they don't know how to get out of it any other way. Kids will take any reason these days to bully another, often as an entire class or in small groups. That's one of the things that gets me. These bullies don't work by themselves; they have to travel in vicious little packs because you know what? They wouldn't dare do it on their own. They have to be sure that there will be those who will back them up in case things go sour. Other kids are often afraid to stop the bullies because they don't want their attentions to be turned on them.
So... afterwards, I go to the other English teachers and I tell them what happend and what I saw. Portentiously, and rather ironically, a couple days prior, the Japanese government had received a packet of letters that were written by an anonymous student. The letters claimed that the student was sick of being bullied relentlessly and threatened suicide by a certain date if the bullies didn't stop. The government took it seriously and published it in the newspapers. They issued alerts for school boards and the teachers were all paying attention to it. Read it here.
I hadn't known about it, but with me informing them and this coming, they took it pretty seriously. They asked me to reenact the scene (I was like WTF?) and then they took out an album full of student pictures and asked me to identify the parties involved. I told them I could identifie the bullies but not the student and they seemed worried.
And I found out why. Apparently, a second packed of letters were sent where a female high school student threatened to kill the bullies and then themselves if it didn't stop. Read it here.
I wanted to laugh. Mostly because HOLY FUCKING HELL IT TAKES A SUICIDE NOTE TO MAKE PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO BULLYING THAT IS PRACTICALLY ENDEMIC???? For fucks sakes! The stats may say that no students have killed themselves over bullying since 1999 but the stats are FUCKING WRONG. Kids don't always leave suicide notes and kids don't always kill themselves over bullying. They'll just feel miserable and alone and maybe they'll join in on the bullying once targets change.
My teachers told me that it was good I told them, but now I wonder just how they're going to get around this. Call the parents in for a conference? Have them deny it because their kids are darling little angels? Will Face be bullied in a more secretive manner so that Yankee and Baldy don't get in trouble? Will their classmates continue to do nothing?
I don't have a clue. But one thing I know is that I'm going to remember Baldy and Yankee for the rest of my life. And I'm not going to let this go. Oh, so you protest, they're just kids, they don't know how serious it is. Frankly? I don't give a damn. They're obnoxious little pricks that need to have the shit kicked out of them. I sure hope having the shit kicked out of them will be what changes them but I'm not about to hold my breath.
... so anyways. That's my rant of the day.
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 09:37 am (UTC)I hope something better comes of this...
no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 09:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 11:57 am (UTC)ass-kickinguseful; I hope that poor kid's ok. :/no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 12:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 06:01 pm (UTC)Bullies hurt their victims, and as you point out, most other people really don't give a damn about that going on. The psychologist's take above is just a way to divest the people who didn't step in of any responsibility for not acting. And the only thing bullies seem to understand is force, which is why it's important that someone step in and stop them.
(As you might guess, this is a hot button issue for me as well.)
no subject
Date: 2006-11-11 03:54 am (UTC)even if he was just a scrawny little guy; I think this is why I like scrappers, and they'd gang up on him. My mother told me of one incident where two bullies grabbed either arm of Anthony, and then a third slammed his foot up against Anthony's testicles.In fact, my mother was standing out in the playground, talking with the adult playground monitor, and actually saw a kid slug Anthony in the middle of his back with a rock, and my mother had a fit! The monitor told my mother that, "The children had to work out their problems on their own." (To which Ma gave her a very long lecture on The Lord of the Flies, but it probably didn't get anywhere.)
Those were just the problems in grade school. Years later, my mother was talking to someone whose children had grown up with us and continued with public school, and learned just how dangerous the highschool was - when you've got your football players being stabbed in the back with a knife in the school hallway, then something is really, really wrong. And I just can't help but wonder if the kid who did the stabbing was one of those bullies, the children who were expected to work out their problems on their own.
Bullying is more than just physical abuse. It's also mental, emotional, and verbal abuse. Look at the effects of such on battered women and abused children. They often perpetuate this behavior by emulating it in later events in life; people who abuse their children were often abused as children themselves. These children go out and abuse other children. Those children have issues as well. Bullying doesn't leave just one victim and often has a wider range of problems to go with it than just that single kid being kicked, knifed, punched, whacked, etc.
So, kudos to you for speaking up. It may not seem like much, but I'm sure that there's someone out there who will be feeling better for it, though.